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Sunday, October 15th, 2006
10:26 pm - done

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Sunday, September 17th, 2006
8:39 pm - The Amazing Race
Asian nerds, Muslim dads, obnoxious cheerleaders, and former drug addicts. Oh it's gonna be a good season.

current mood: cheerful

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7:47 pm - Woot!
Just got an email from my boss, I'm getting a big raise and promotion!!! On an unrealted note, September is half over and I still haven't named my "favorite criminal of the month"....thinking, thinking.

current mood: happy

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Monday, August 28th, 2006
10:07 am - Monday Morning Funny
Usually I hate Yahoo Answers because it's full of the most ignorant, racist, homophobic, Bush-loving, fools this side of Pluto (sigh...Pluto). Anyway, this morning I was directed to a typically idiotic question that a friend of mine answered in true "mock the stupid" fashion:

Question: Why are illegal aliens keep asking for manesty when they are already here illegally.

Answer: Manesty? What's manesty? Don't tell me those illegals are now demaning free sex change operations!

current mood: chipper

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Sunday, August 6th, 2006
2:10 pm
And you thought I was going to say Mel Gibson. A raving, psychotic drunk driver? Please, way too common. No, this month I’m going with someone who isn’t a criminal in the eyes of the law, but who I think should do a long, long time in prison – forensic psychiatrist Park Dietz.

Dr. Dietz, you may recall, testified for the prosecution in the first trial of uber-psycho child killer Andrea Yates. He Dietz testified that Yates WAS NOT insane according to Texas law. Texas, like many states, defines insanity as not knowing what you are doing is wrong. Hey, how about insanity as knowing right from wrong but being to stop doing wrong? This guy has no professional integrity what so ever. Imagine his testimony in a non-insanity trial, “Well according to all medical tests available you have cancer. However, according to the laws of state of Texas you don’t have cancer, therefore my testimony is that you don’t have cancer.” I guess $50,000 (Dr. Dietz’s fee) buys whatever testimony you want.

Before I continue, let’s not forget that years before Dr. Dietz also testified that Jeffrey Dahmer was NOT insane. Yikes, if Dahmer wasn’t insane then no one in the history of human-kind ever has been. But back to Yates. Not only did Dr. Dietz testify that she wasn’t insane, he said she got the idea for the murders from a very similar plot on an episode of “Law & Order”. Problem – no such show existed.

Whether Dr. Dietz lied intentionally or made an honest mistake is still up for debate. Yates’ conviction was overturned due to Dr. Dietz’s false testimony and on July 26th a jury in her second trial found her not guilty by reason of insanity.

And what of Yates? Well guilty by reason of insanity does have it’s perks. Give her ten, fifteen years in the cuckoo's nest and then I’m sure she will be teaching at a local elementary school, hopefully not near you.

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, July 21st, 2006
3:27 pm - Mother Nature Kicked My Ass!
Some advice for the would be traveler, never ever drive around northern Arizona in July. Little did we know, the locals call it “monsoon season” (for good reason) and of course we were trapped in it during the loooong-ass drive from San Diego to the Grand Canyon. Huge black storm clouds appear over the desert almost instantly, bringing colossal bolts of lighting that struck no more than five feet from our car. The rain came down so hard that I think it caused temporary bruising. Then of course, there was the hail. I thought we were gonna die.

The temperature in Las Vegas was 112 degrees, similar to midnight on Venus I’d suspect. It was so hot that even before you realize you’re sweating it’s already evaporated. I thought we were gonna die.

And for my third “I thought we were gonna die” story, let me just put it to you this way. If you’re gonna stay overnight near the rim of the Grand Canyon bring a flashlight. A big one.

current mood: giddy

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Monday, July 10th, 2006
1:17 am - Going To California!
It seems a California divorce is even eaiser than we thought it would be, according to the hubby. I'm flying to San Diego on Wednesday, will return on the 20th. I can't wait. Gotta pack.

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
5:28 pm - Ken Lay Fakes Own Death?
Now I know Ken Lay had a bum ticker and that loooooong-ass trial was probably quite stressful, but think about it a second. Lay was facing 45 years in prison at his October sentencing. Consider that, and that fact that he's a wealthy, experienced liar...and I say show me the body.

current mood: nerdy

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Monday, July 3rd, 2006
10:55 pm - Favorite Criminal of the Month - Donald Thompson
With so many strange criminals in the news recently coming up with July’s favorite criminal of the month was tough! I finally chose Donald Thompson, retired Oklahoma judge, because hey, how many penis pumping judges do we actually have on the bench?

On June 29th Thompson was convicted of four counts of indecent exposure after testimony from several witnesses that he used the device on himself while presiding over trials. His defense? The penis pump was a gag gift he never used (now why don't I have friends like that?).

I’ve served on jury duty and a lot of the testimony can get real boring, real fast. What else should a horny 58 year-old judge do when a trial hits snoozeville? Was the “whooshing sounds” witnesses reported hearing actually an impediment to justice? I say not! Be proud Oklahomans, your tax dollars are HARD at work.

current mood: awake

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Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
8:06 pm - Star Wars Galaxies
I really want to go back to Star Wars Galaxies but everyone tells me not to cause it sucks since the new game enhancements....
...and yes, creepy neighbor is still on patrol.

current mood: thoughtful

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Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
7:17 pm - Creepy Neighbor/Wacky Aunt
For the past six months I've had to be to work extra early. Since I'm freaky about being prompt, I left my apartment every morning at 7am sharp. And every morning my creepy neighbor would be there, standing on his stoop looking at me and surveying the entire block. He's in his late 60s and owns the building he lives in (not mine, thank God).

Like many places, we have to recycle aluminum and glass. I used to take my returnables back to the store but I stopped cause it got to be a real drag. Now what I do is put them in a separate bag and leave them out with the trash. Homeless people go through the garbage anyway, so why not let them have the returnables? Well last night I looked out my front window and there was my freaky neighbor taking my beer and soda cans! The worth of his house is about two million. This morning when I left for work, he was there as usual. I was so disgusted I wanted to throw 45 cents at him (the value of cans).

Next, today, my aunt calls me from Phoenix to tell me that she saw a story on the news that a giant housecat (yes, a housecat) was attacking people in the community. She was so freaked out that she made my uncle drain their background pool, cause after all, giant assulting housecats are so attracted to warm, clorinated water. Hehehe, I miss her.

Well at least the early schedule is over. Starting Monday I'm going to work from home for two weeks. Woot!

current mood: hungry

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Monday, June 26th, 2006
6:08 pm - Happy Gay Pride, Belated

current mood: crazy

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Saturday, June 24th, 2006
11:01 am - Summer Reading List, part 1
I just finished a great novel called "Jennifer Government" by Max Berry. It's about a future where corporations have taken over and most of the world is horribly Americanized. Highly recommened.

current mood: content

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Friday, June 23rd, 2006
7:12 pm - Woot, I'm Getting Divorced!
When I was 18 and still IDing as female I married a close friend so he could stay in the U.S. Due to this nation’s fucked up immigration laws there was no other choice for him to become legal except marriage.

The two INS interviews were a hoot, considering I was a big ole dyke back then…yes indeed, a few eyebrows at headquarters were raised. I think we got away with it because I’m half-Mexican myself (he’s all Mexican).

When I transitioned we had quite a few hilarious conversations about how he was probably the only straight man in America married to another man. Now, after seven years of perfectly good fake marriage, he wants to divorce me and marry some woman he’s actually in love with (and a Stanford girl to boot)!

He’s going to take care of the legal stuff (California must have easy divorce laws) and I’m going to fly out there for a few days to sign the paperwork. I’m really happy about this. I haven’t been to San Diego since I moved back to New York in 2003. I forgot how much I miss my husband.

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Sunday, June 18th, 2006
5:16 pm - The Ultimate In Time Wasting
It's about 95 degrees which means I didn't leave the house at all today. This is my policy for the entire summer when the temperature is over 90. I think I'm going to resurrect an old time wasting project I didn’t finish. I've challenged myself to re-shoot, in it’s entirety, Star Wars: A New Hope staring only Legos. The rules I've set for myself are:

1. Only spend $100 dollars to make a 125 minute film. As you may or may not know, specialized Legos can be quite expensive. What I did was buy used Legos on ebay, shoot the footage I needed then resell the Legos back on ebay.

2. Only use software that I could get for free. The lightsaber effect you see in my Obi-wan icon was created with a great free program called LSMaker. I used Windows Movie Maker for the editing, titles, and transitions (gosh there’s a lot of wipes in Star Wars!). For other effects I used Photoshop, which by the way, you can get for free. Well at least you can get a free 30 day trial disc from Adobe.

3. Do it without any assistance. I must say, this is the most difficult of the three. Stop motion animation with Legos is quite time consuming and tedious. Hmmm, I guess that’s why I like doing it.

current mood: bored

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Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
7:05 pm - World Cup Commentary
I live in a very ethnically diverse neighborhood so yeah, World Cup fever reigns in Brooklyn. Togo’s defeat by South Korea was a crushing blow to Togolese soccer fans everywhere. I will continue to root for Togo, despite the fact that before arriving in Germany the Togolese players had never seen a real soccer ball, having only played with inflated goat stomachs. Any team that had to sew their own uniforms together and walk to Germany deserves to be World Cup champion.

This afternoon’s France-Switzerland match was a tough call. On one hand, France is a perpetual loser (please see: French & Indian War, Franco-Prussian War, Battle of France, Indochina, Algeria), but then Switzerland’s history of continuous neutrality pegs it a competitive failure. Well I was right, tied score of zero.

Tomorrow: Saudi Arabia vs. Tunisia – I’m conflicted.

current mood: bouncy

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Monday, June 12th, 2006
8:44 pm - Yikes....
... I'm bummed that there won't be anymore Star Wars movies.

current mood: geeky

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6:42 pm - World's Worst Reporter: Lois Lane
Just saw a preview for the new Superman remake, it looks very similar to the 1978 version (which I quite liked). Anyways (as us New Yorkers say), what's up with Lois Lane? She's supposed to be a reporter and can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman?

On a non-movie related note, I'm going to BOTH Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon this summer. Details to follow.

current mood: happy

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Friday, June 9th, 2006
5:21 pm - Funny Bumper Sticker
Yeah, yeah I know, bumper stickers are really lame but I saw one today that kinda summarizes this week in American politics:

"Stop gay marriage now, so Osama doesn't get away"

Happy Friday.

current mood: amused

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Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
11:55 am - Televised Spelling Bees
Those spelling bee kids scare me.

current mood: scared

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